Virtually Outdated (Prologue)

Ah, what to say, what to say, what to say… Life’s been pretty interesting lately; I’m but twenty days away from being the proud father of a little baby she-mole, I’ve paid off my loan to that no-good-racketeering bastard Tom Nook, I’ve become the ass-kicking-est golfer on the Mushroom Circuit – can’t say the same thing for my partner -, I have tried and failed to open up the twentyfourth and final story mission in Final Fantasy Tactics Advance yet again – it borders on the ridiculous! -, completed Golden Sun: the lost age and got the proper ending for Prince of Persia: Warrior Within. T minus fifty games is what the count would read like now. That’s fifty games until I allow myself to enter the current console gaming generation! By my humble estimates, that means that if I stick to constant daily gaming at the unholy hours of the morning I may be able to get my 360, Wii and PS3 for Xmas 2010. Good times!

The world certainly hasn’t stopped for me, that’s for sure! So much going on in the gaming world; the Wii equals and surpasses the 360’s total sales in half the time, the PS3 actually starts selling well in Japan, beating Wii sales for two weeks in a row, Bioshock wasn’t quite System Shock 3 (shock!), Super Mario Galaxy is Mario’s best game in a decade and still no third party developers have taken proper advantage of the Wii’s harrowing install base.

Given the fact that I can hardly be expected to keep up with all the newest developments in the industry due to my lack of a “next gen” console, I shall instead make the usual commentary while imbuing it with my new found oldster disgruntlement.

I am currently plowing my way through Super Ghouls n’ Ghosts in an attempt to reawaken the old-school gaming god within me. Just beat the first level and it only took me about 20 tries or so. Guess I’m not quite so rusty after all. That would explain why some weeks ago, while having some friends over at the cave, we were playing Street Fighter II Champion Editon and had I not relinquished my use of Ken I would have spent the entirety of that fine evening whooping my friends’ virtual asses. So much fun!

So I leave you all jokers with nothing but the above words. Yeah, that IS all.